How do you Create your own Definition of Success?
Photo credit to www.aistesaulyte.co.uk
Our definition of success represents the pair of lenses we choose to make our decisions in career and life.
If success means : a career with a certain status-quo and salary, a big home, a handsome boyfriend and a fit body, we'll filter our choices through these lenses.
So If we’re offered a job that gives us a prestigious reputation we may say yes according to our definition of success.
If success for us means having a family and kids, holidays in exotic locations and being attractive we will use another pair of lenses and that same job may not seem so important to us.
Overall I’m writing this post to remind you that YOU can create your own definition of success and I want to invite you to double-check whether the one you’re using now it’s really something in which you believe in.
Or is it a definition that you learned and that was passed to you by someone else ?
If so, do you agree with it?
You have the permission to question it and rewrite a definition that is aligned with your own unique life and desires, one that makes you feel good, because that’s the goal after all.
So how do you create your own definition of success?
Start with choosing new broader measures of success that encompass not only money and how you’re perceived by other people but what truly matters to you.
Here are some ways to define your own success and make it sustainable :
How is your nervous system feeling? As you may know self-care is a one of the pillars of my coaching practice because in my opinion you’re not successful If you’re burning yourself out and driving on adrenaline. Regulating your nervous system allows you to keep on going without the excessive pressure we’ve learned to see as normal but it’s not!
Are you living a lifestyle that suits your values? I don’t believe in absolute work/life balance because I think that we always have an imbalance according to what we’re prioritising in that phase of life and that the balance is built over the long term. So If in this phase you genuinely want to spend more time working or caring about your family, that’s your own version of balance.
Are you earning enough to support your lifestyle? So money comes as one element of your success simply as a tool helping you build the things you desire. Again the amount is relative to what makes you feel safe and honestly responds to your needs at that moment.
Are you fulfilled in the job you’re doing? I don’t care what is the job you do or what is the job title you have as long as it makes you feel useful and you’re genuinely happy to be there and feel like you’re expressing yourself authentically.
Are you expressing your creativity? Creating is such a huge part of being a human and the thing that makes us vibrate, so maybe you have this element in your job or somewhere else in life. I truly believe that when this element is missing we feel flat and unmotivated so look at how you’re accessing this aspect.
Do you thrive in your relationships? Connection with other humans that make us feel seen and understood is vital so whether it is through romantic, family or friendships think about the kind of relationships you desire.
These are just some examples and there are more measures that you can add which are important to you.
What is my personal definition of success?
For me success is feeling aligned with my truth in how I live my life.
When I'm living externally in the way that feels good internally, life feels great even If it doesn't look like society's cliché on what success is.
Which doesn't mean that everything is perfect (far from it) but I can trust myself in making the necessary changes that make me feel aligned and that's enough.
I have a career I love that I've created for myself and I'm so proud of it even If I am making less (at least for now) than my old business school friends but it feels my heart with purpose and I'm very devoted to it.
I'm surrounded by people I chose and that I respect and I can talk about dreams and desires with and that see life in a similar expansive way I do and they get me even If we're different.
I live in a beautiful city that gave me so much in the last 10 years and even If I have been dreaming of a geographical change in the last couple of years I'm also super grateful of where I am and I trust myself in taking the leap when I feel it right.
These are just a couple of examples to say that feeling successful in your life doesn't mean that you have "arrived" somewhere ideal but simply that your compass is guided by :
- What would feel good? And what are the baby steps that would take me closer to this vision? Because the changes we will make will not happen overnight but they are a collection of habits that we cultivate daily to make them part of our lives.
- Enjoying the process while still dreaming of growth. Because again it’s not about arriving somewhere but knowing that you’re walking a path that feels true to you, so the process it’s more important than the actual destination.
Now it’s your turn, what is your definition of success in your career and life? Comment below as it will help each other to expand our vision.
If you feel ready to make this your reality and apply a different mindset for success in your own terms, I’m opening new coaching spots to work together for 5 months and really transform your life! The best way to get to know more about my coaching is to jump on a free 30 minutes Discovery Call with me.
